Pathways to Recovery, chapter 1, 'Own Recovery'.

Welcome to this blog on recovery from a psychotic episode. In this section, we will think about what recovery means. The word "recovery" can mean something different to everyone, so I've come up with some questions to help you think about what it means to you.

I first answered these questions with a pencil and wrote down some words in the book that came up as I tried to answer them. Last weekend I thought a bit about what recovery means to me and didn't come up with a real answer.

So I decided to write this blog and follow the questions in the workbook to better understand what recovery has meant to me over the past few years. If I read this later, I will probably think differently. But you have to start somewhere.

At the end of these longer blog posts, I will post the questions I used from the chapters. And maybe some quotes about recovery from those pages.

• What is recovery?

The question is particularly poignant. It is comforting to know that recovery is a process of personal growth and development, and that there is no single definition or right way to achieve it. The emphasis is on setting goals that are important to the individual is essential in ensuring that recovery remains meaningful and motivating.

 

Recovery is a process of personal growth and development. It is a process of regaining control of your life and creating a new normal for yourself. Recovery is not a turning point, but a journey.

There is no single definition of recovery. For some, recovery may mean being able to work again and for others it may mean being able to reconnect with your friends and family. There is no right or wrong answer.

What is important is that recovery is meaningful to you. It is important that you set goals that are important to you and that you focus on your own progression.

The road to recovery

The road to recovery is not easy. It is a process of trial and error. There will be times when you go forward and there will be times when you go backward. But if you persevere, you will eventually reach your goals.

There are many things you can do to support your recovery. You can seek professional help, join a recovery group or support group, or commit to mental health services. You can also do things yourself to help you, such as exercising regularly, eating healthy, getting enough sleep and spending time with people you love.

Recovery is possible

Recovery is possible for anyone who strives for it. If you are struggling with a mental illness, know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you and there are people who believe in you. Don't give up, you can do this!

Questions to ponder

Here are some questions to think about what recovery means to you:

 

• What do you want to accomplish in recovery?
  

• What are your goals?

• What are your strengths?

• What are your challenges?

• What do you need to achieve your goals?

• Who can help you?

• What are your plans for the future?

I hope these questions help you think about what recovery means to you. I wish you well on your journey to recovery!

'1st'

The first time someone explained to me what schizophrenia was was after a period when people concluded that I might have it, too. This happened in 2012 at a psychiatric hospital in the town where I live, a place I had barely heard of. What I remember from the beginning is that I had the most crowded head. People from the government and my family concluded that I was no longer functioning in daily life. But to be honest, I couldn't really explain what was wrong. Because I didn't realize something was wrong with me. I felt like I was performing my philosophical duties. It was my actions and not normal behavior that made people realize something was wrong with me. Because I understood little about my own thoughts and because I was fine thinking privately in my head, the doctors and nurses didn't notice what was wrong with me either. But after several tests by good psychologists, they came to the conclusion that I was suffering from psychosis.

And don't get me wrong, a first psychosis is a great tragedy.

After being diagnosed with psychosis, I started therapy sessions and medication. At first I was frightened by the idea that such a small dose of medication could have such a profound effect on my mind, but thanks to the support of my mother and the nurses, I started treatment. A few weeks later, I was moved to a section of the psychiatric hospital that housed other young people with symptoms of schizophrenia and psychotic episodes. Although I didn't feel much like doing anything at the time, being in this new environment gave me a daily routine and the opportunity to talk to others my own age who understood my way of thinking. I found that I enjoyed attending group therapy sessions with other patients, and being around others in the hospital helped me to understand my own condition better. I even made some lasting connections with other people during my stay.

After my first psychotic episode, I began the process of recovering and eventually returning home. When I was discharged from hospital in the summer of 2012, I moved back in with my parents, as it was agreed that I would still need help in the near future. While I was eager to get back to my normal life, including my final work placement for school and my weekend job with the elderly, everyone close to me recognised the importance of continuing my treatment.

While I was in hospital, I kept in touch with my school and work. My school gave me the opportunity to do a new work placement and finish a project that I had missed while in hospital. The internship was a big reality check for me, as I was afraid of the stigma surrounding my condition and didn't feel strong enough to tell anyone at work that I was still recovering. Despite this, I was able to keep in touch with clients, attend meetings, work on websites and graphic design, and even have coffee with my colleagues. My parents also helped by driving me to and from work every day.

Despite the challenges I faced, I was determined to complete my degree and get my diploma.

I then moved into my own flat, which my parents helped me to clean. Although I didn't sleep there for almost a year, I still had to pay rent and I enjoyed working with the elderly, so I returned to work after the summer and my stay in hospital, even though I was only a quarter of my strength. I found it reassuring to be at work and doing my usual tasks, such as making coffee and chatting with my colleagues and clients. The older people I worked with made me feel stronger than I saw myself, and I really enjoyed my time with them.

• So what can I say from this attempt?

My own recovery can be achieved by thinking about and planning my own future goal. And trying to achieve it.

'the second'

My first full-blown psychotic relapse came two years after my first crisis. I didn't realise until the last moment that something was wrong, but looking back I can see that it was brewing. Even though I had been attending appointments, group classes and other activities at the psychiatric hospital in the two years leading up to the relapse, it still caught me off guard. After reviewing my case, the hospital said they hadn't been proactive enough in preventing a relapse. However, my family and friends had noticed that something was wrong and I realised that it can be difficult to get the help you need when you need it.

It took some time, but I eventually returned to the section of the hospital for young people with psychotic sensitivity. It was good to see familiar faces again. This time I was armed with some experience and knowledge of what was expected of me in a psychotic emergency. I was more willing and open to help and much more talkative during the therapy sessions. I tried to explain that I couldn't always articulate what was bothering me, but the hospital was somewhat understanding. I talked more about the worrying thoughts I was having and tried my best to participate in every therapy session. The nurses and psychiatrists were supportive and I came out feeling much more relaxed and able to talk about what was going on in my head.

In 2014, I decided to discontinue my education as an experiential worker due to the medication and negative symptoms I was experiencing. My old medication had many side effects and exacerbated the negative symptoms of my psychosis.

Negative symptoms are symptoms that occur after a psychosis, such as lack of energy, loss of pleasure in activities and lack of motivation to do even small tasks. I often felt careless and apathetic, which was a burden to those around me. Although I knew there was a lot to do for my education, I had little motivation to do it. I found it difficult to take initiative. This feeling started in 2012 and continues to this day. 

With these symptoms, it eventually became unrealistic for me to continue my education and then call myself 'experienced', especially after only one psychosis and little experience with medication. It seemed unrealistic to me to then work as an expert in experience.

Although my attempt to become an experienced mental health worker didn't work out, it gave me more acceptance, knowledge and time for a longer recovery. This time my situation was different and I learned the importance of having a goal. When I didn't have a deadline to go to school or work, my main goal became to fully recover from my symptoms. I also didn't want to stay with my parents when I returned home, and it wasn't necessary. By the end of my stay at the psychiatric hospital, I was spending weekends in my own home again and was gradually moving out of the hospital.

As I worked towards recovery from my positive symptoms, I also had the opportunity to try volunteering for the first time. I enjoyed working in a cycle shop where I could keep my hands busy and my mind off things. I also got a job in the graphics department at the hospital. I had a new personal carer who was active and enthusiastic about helping me return home. Thanks to the nurses' experience of my first episode, we knew it was important to keep me busy while I recovered.

By early 2015, we had gained enough confidence to allow me to return home full-time. This period of recovery took almost a full year, compared to the few months after my first episode. However, I no longer had any positive symptoms and was aware that relapse into a psychotic state was still a possibility. Thanks to the individual and group sessions in hospital over the course of almost a year, and putting things on paper, we felt prepared to prevent another full-blown episode. This time I had an out-patient carer who visited me at home and I was working two jobs. I felt ready to be more active again in the future.

Although it took longer to recover this time, I finally felt well enough to return home. I had things to do and felt that I had gained a better understanding of my illness and was more open to accepting help.

• So what can I say from this attempt?

My own recovery can be achieved by increasing my knowledge of my mental disability and being better prepared for a problem.

'3'

• So what can I say from this attempt?

My own recovery can be achieved by accepting disability and having a healthy attitude. Opening up to other people can really help.

'quartet'

• This is what I have learned.

Your own recovery is possible if you don't give up in your own mind. And try to accept help.

After re-reading these 'own recovery' definitions and trying to combine these recoveries, we came up with the following.

"My own recovery can be achieved by setting goals and being prepared. This means knowing and understanding my own disability, having self-confidence, and respect for the things I care about when trying to achieve a goal." 

It's also important to have realistic expectations and be willing to adjust your goals along the way. Recovery is not a linear process; there will be setbacks and plateaus, but it's about learning from those experiences and continuing to move forward.

1. I never thought that I could recover from mental problems.
2. I feel that I do not need to recover.
3. I cannot think about recovery, there is so much going on at the moment.
4. I think about recovery sometimes, but I have never taken a step in that direction.
5. I really want to recover but I have not taken any steps.
6. I have been on the road to recovery, but I am currently dealing with a relapse.
7. I am actively recovering from a mental health problem.
8. I feel I am fully recovered, now I just need to maintain the advantage.
9. Recovery is a personal journey and I am not there yet.
10. Recovery is possible and I continue to work on healing.

Managing stress and anxiety is a common challenge for many people, especially those struggling with mental health conditions. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope:

• Practice relaxation techniques: Simple exercises like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce tension and promote relaxation.

• Engage in self-care: Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active.

• Set realistic goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Identify triggers: Pay attention to what situations or activities tend to trigger stress or anxiety, and try to avoid or manage them proactively.

• Create a support network: Surround yourself with friends, family, or support groups who understand and can provide encouragement. Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if things become too overwhelming.

Each technique is about finding what works best for you and practicing consistently; you're not alone on this journey.

Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

• What did you hear yourself about your chance of recovery?

• Which positive and negative aspects are there according to you as your role of 'patient'?

• Which changes are taking place in your life that contribute to your recovery?

• Can you name what helped within yourself and in your environment to deal with the difficulties you came across in your life?

• What helped you to keep going and not give up?

• What are your feelings about the idea recovery is possible?

• Try to formulate what being recovered means for you.

Mental health care should not be limited to just medical or professional help. Most importantly, everyone should try to create a sense of equality, support and understanding around mental health.